2000 Words Later

and I finished a lab report.  I never thought that I would actually be writing at this level for lab reports.  It took a lot longer than I anticipated, but I'm pretty sure it took me less time than the last ones.  I just remember dreading two page papers, and I just wrote an 11 page lab report on a frog nerve.  It's pretty incredible though.  Also, I'm exhausted.  I really need to get more sleep.

What a wonderful world

Turns out, auditions are kind of fun.  Sure my stomach is still doing flips (that's probably just because my day is still in its infancy), but once I got into the audition room, I was totally not freaking out.  It was really relaxing actually.  As I'm sitting here next to Sophie (who says hi, by the way) I'm realizing that I want to go into theatre because of the people.  Every person I've run into or interviewed with, or had workshops with yesterday has been really cool. I just want to talk shop with all of them, it's really incredible to see so many people so excited about the same thing.  That's the wonderful thing about the theatre world, no one is there unless they have to be.  This business isn't worth the struggle and pain unless it's something you want more than anything.  And if these past two weeks have told me anything, it's that I belong in this world.

And then my face exploded.

Lawrence just got listed as the 18th most rigorous college in the country, and it totally shows.  Of course they post this during midterms on a day where I physically don't have time to do everything that needs to get done.  I won't bore you with a list of boring details, but the best one is me finishing my As You Like it TO SEND INTO THE ROYAL SHAKESPEARE COMPANY.  I'm still crying a little.  This weekend was totally a blur.  After meeting a ton of LU alumni, I was talking to a Broadway producer who's buds with Alan Rickman (go ahead, punch me) and he mentioned that RSC is currently cutting all shows in the cannon down to 70 minutes for a project (I can't remember which one quite yet) and said if I sent him my version he would send it to them.  It could be that they look at it and just never do anything with it, or they could end up using it.  RSC COULD USE MY CUTTING.  No lies, my life would be basically set if they did.  Not only in that I would feel accomplished beyond all reason, but I could get Shakespeare related jobs wherever, cause RSC is kind of a big deal.  So, it's completely understandable that I want to work on nothing else besides reviewing and editing my cut to send in.  Right?  Good.

Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?

To put it shortly, go ahead and desire it, just hope it never comes true.
To put it....long..ly?  I'm not sure how to phrase that.  Anywhoo, its snowing buckets, and I have too much to do.  Per usual.  I'm trying to figure out where to trim things off as well, but it's really difficult to figure out.  Especially since the first things I'd like to drop aren't really options to drop (ugh).  But I've been staying on top of things a little better recently.  Except for being an RA.  For some reason I can never manage to fit it into my schedule, it just seems like a bother now more than a fun thing, so I'm nearly positive that I'm not coming back next year.  Senior year will have enough stuff going on for me to stay plenty busy with other things, like honors projects and senior projects and helping with other peoples senior projects.  You know, normal things.

Found It

My sanity is back!  Yayyyyy!  This weekend was super crazy, but now its over.  Which is both happy and sad making.  Trivia was super fun, even though I only really played Sunday.  I should probably go back to Friday when the weekend started though.  Show went pretty well, then I went to play Trivia in Kohler.  I didn't stay long because I didn't really know anyone and I told Maggie I was gonna come say hey to the  crew, but they were already a few cups in (with blu drank, no less.  You don't want to know what's in blu drank).  Thankfully I ran into Claire before things got out of hand, and we ended up chilling in my room with Aric, wine and veggie chips.  Best life choice, we just listened to my new vinyls and chatted up the place.  Unfortunately for me I had some of the drank before the wine, so the next morning was not fun.  I ended up staying in bed until call for Dumb Waiter, half out of laziness and half out of necessity.  But I bounced back pretty quickly, and survived through both Waiter runs and a cast party, which I sill enjoyed.  I was worried because some alums I didn't know were coming, but we ended up taping mustaches to the TV and drinking whenever it lined up.  (new favorite thing, BTW).  Sunday was mostly trivia.  Lots and lots of internet procrastination.  I had meant to finish my application for an internship I really want, but for some reason I haddn't been able to get through it (probably because it feels like real life applying for actual summer internships).  But I also GOT MY UKULELE.  its the best thing ever.  I already have 4 times the callouses that I had when I was practicing on the soprano.
Today is a lot better.  My entire bio class got an extension on our lab until Friday (which I thought I was going to have to do completely tonight), I actually got some sleep last night and I finally applied for that internship.  I also found a few more online that I'm going to apply for.  Hopefully it will be a little easier because now I have a few stock resumes and personal statements and such.

On the Edge

For some reason, my emotions just decided to take a tailspin for the unnecessary.  My level of being overwhelmed just hit a new high, and it's not like I haven't handled this level of busy before.  It's just getting harder to handle it all.  There are too many things I have to do and not enough time to do it.  Believe it or not, the fact that I am picking up playing ukulele is actually what's keeping me holding on.  For some reason that odd little instrument is keeping me grounded in reality.  I just have to resist playing it all day.  Mostly because my new callouses hurt too much to play exorbitantly   Still.  I'm more excited to pick up the Uke I ordered on the 27th than I am to see the show I'm in tech for right now.  I know this post is a bit choppy and unorganized (but is that really too far from the normal one?), but I just feel like I can't handle too much more right now.

I think it started two nights ago.  Things usually don't go well when they start with a knock on my door at 2:00 am because two of my residents were in an argument.  So, then later yesterday I held an hour and a half long mediation between them to try and sort things out, which didn't lead to much of a satisfying conclusion.  I had a talk with my boss that night about what had happened, which turned into me talking about how messed up the extended family health is going right now (which is not well).  Ever since then, I've been easily shaken.  I can't tell if its the sleep deprivation or my emotions.  Or the two acting at once.  Either way, I'm not having too much fun with it all.

The Upswing

I'm feeling a lot more positive today.  I'm not sure if it's because I finally started the list of all I want to get done over break (which is still overwhelming) or if I actually got out of the house yesterday and got a bunch of things done, or that Nick is here and its the first time I've hung out with someone not in my immediate family.  It's probably mostly the last one.  I can't handle not seeing people very well, but somehow when I slump into being alone I can't get myself to go out and see other people.  Wow, that just sounded like I broke up with myself.   Not true.  I just need to see my friends.  I'm too social to sit alone in the house all the time.