The Upswing

I'm feeling a lot more positive today.  I'm not sure if it's because I finally started the list of all I want to get done over break (which is still overwhelming) or if I actually got out of the house yesterday and got a bunch of things done, or that Nick is here and its the first time I've hung out with someone not in my immediate family.  It's probably mostly the last one.  I can't handle not seeing people very well, but somehow when I slump into being alone I can't get myself to go out and see other people.  Wow, that just sounded like I broke up with myself.   Not true.  I just need to see my friends.  I'm too social to sit alone in the house all the time.

Independent Films

So I watched this film labeled 'independent film' on Netflix   And I'm pretty sure they just predicted my future.  Ugh.  It was this girl who had just graduated college and wound up living with her mom and getting a job as a hostess at the restaurant down the block.  I really hope that isn't me.  I want to do something with my life.  Right off the bat.  I'm trying to search for summer internships, but all the Shakespeare fests just take people for year round jobs.  So far I've found a ton of places to audition for after school (most auditions are in September or October).  I'm starting to get really nervous for grad school.  If I decide to go to grad school.  

Got my grades back today.  First college C.  Awesome.  I'm still above a 3.5, but I really want to pull a 3.75, but I'm not sure if that's something I can swing at this point.  I don't have enough classes to bring it up that far.  My Neuroscience stuff is what's going to kill it.  To be completely honest, I'm not sure if I really want it at this point if it's going to kill my GPA this much.  But at the same time, I don't want to drop it because of my freaking GPA.  I hate those things.  I know it's cliche to say that GPA shouldn't matter, but it does.  And I hate that they matter.  I know auditions don't care about GPAs, but grad schools do.  Especially if I want to go into possibly a PhD for theatre history or something of that sort.  I'll probably do alright on the GRE, which I'm sure will help, but I'm not sure if that transfers to England anyway.  And I really want to go to the UK for a year.   Doing something Shakespeare-y.  Like getting a Shakespeare Studies masters at Kings College or University of Birmingham.  Plus, in London you get to watch the BBC all the time.  They've got good TV.  Plus British guys.  Who doesn't love a good brit?