Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Oversleeping

So, I went to bed early last night with the express purpose of being awake and alert for my 9:00-10:50 class.  Apparently I didn't snooze my alarm, I turned it off, and my back up alarm I turned off last night instead of turning it on.  So I woke up at 10:30.  Yeah, not worth it to go to class.  But I feel so bad and crappy about the whole thing.  I like the class, and I never do any work outside of class (because I get the labs done during the lab time), but I think we were going to get our midterms back today and figure out if our project proposals were legit, so I probably should have gone to the end of class.  But it would have been pointless, especially because it was probably lab time anyways.  ugh. I just feel so shitty about the whole thing.  Its really frustrating   I was doing so well yesterday.  I got a bunch of stuff done and even worked out.  Then today started out like this.  I need to get out of this mindset or it's not gonna be a good day, and it could be a  pretty good day.  I've just decided.  I'm going to turn this day into a good one.  Starting now.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Bjorklunden Slump

So, Bjork with improv this weekend was great.  And exhausting.  But I'm pretty sure today was one of those days where the entire world is just tired.  So, I didn't seem too off in comparison to the rest of the universe  which was a nice change.  On the other hand, I'm still behind on so many things.  I just can't decide if I would be any more on the ball if I had been here this weekend.  I just never get anything done if it's not a school day.  I barely get things done when it is a school day, when I actually get something done I tend to reward myself with not needing to do anything else, which is probably a bad idea.  Oh well.  I met with a career adviser today and it was surprisingly helpful.  Even though I still don't know what I want to do, I know where to start searching, which is a lot better than floating in an abyss of questions.  Also, staring into an abyss is really relaxing.  I got to this weekend during a night walk on the lake.  It was pitch black nearly everywhere.  So cool.  I didn't take any pictures this weekend, but I'll put one up from a few weeks ago, just because its so pretty.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Highs and Lows

I went to the convocation today, which was actually kind of interesting.  During part of it the speaker asked us to picture our highest high and our lowest low.  Then proceed to give us an example (from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid) of being in both places at once.

The strangest thing happened to me tonight.  I also hit a pretty high high and a pretty low low.

Raena and I threw a Spa Night Program.  It went off magnificently.  We had a bunch of people and they were all talking and having a great time, and then all of campus lost power.  So, the party broke up and everyone dispersed toward the generator emergency lights, which was OK   The power came on after about half an hour.  Then things started smelling bad.  Correction, they smelled like shit.  Literally, because the sewage line in the sub basement apparently burst.  So I didn't have any desk time to work on studying for my midterm tomorrow.  Balls.

Creepin'

Cute guy sitting in the booth across from me.  Just thought I would share that I've totally been stealing glances at him while he's Skyping someone.  I don't know who he's Skyping.  I'm not that creepy.  I'm just hoping it's not a girlfriend.  Even though I won't go talk to him.  I'll just keep listening to The Last Five Years and pretending to study for my theatre history midterm tomorrow.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Overloaded

I definitely need to trim down on all the stuff I'm doing right now.  Too bad there isn't really a way to without quitting something I don't want to quit.  I guess I'll just have to start being more efficient.  I'll go from there and see where it takes me.
Also, I just realized that I haven't really slept through the night since this summer.  It's really starting to irk me.  But I'm going to try to work out nearly every day and do some meditation before bed.  Also turning off electronics and unplugging for a while before bed.  I heard that's supposed to help too.  And I'm going to buy ear plugs soon.  I also heard that could help.  I'd better turn my computer off soon so I can get to bed without it.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Late Nights

I keep staying up obnoxiously late at night without actually doing anything.  I have so much stuff to get done tomorrow, and I stayed up doing nothing.  (Unless you count scraping paper out of my new trunk something.  Well I guess it is something, just not anything particularly amusing.  I am getting excited to get it finished.  I found the trunk at the thrift shoppe for $1.50, so it needs a little TLC for it to be usable, but it's gonna be totally worth it.) Anyways, it was a really chill Saturday night.  Biggest thing that happened was Maggie and I wandering around Walmart to pick up donuts and kitty litter (apparently if you fill a sock with kitty litter and keep it in your shoes it makes it smell not as bad). (also donuts and wine is a great combination).  But I cleaned my room and got my laundry done.  So that's cool.  I just still haven't caught up on the whole homework thing yet this week, so I've got a bunch of catch up to do tomorrow.  Woo (except not).

Friday, October 5, 2012

Nice Trip, See Ya Next Fall

So, I fell down the stairs yesterday.  Pretty major fall.  My arms still hurt, but I don't have any bruises.  Which sucks, cause I want to complain more, but I can't justify it when there's no physical evidence.  I'm also sore because I worked out yesterday.  So I'm doubly hurting from all of that.  But I need to stop complaining and start paying attention to my surroundings.  Maybe then I'll see the stairs.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Below Average

Got my Brains test back today.  Not completely terrible, but not as good as I want. (then again, its never really as good as I want).  Solid C isn't terrible, but considering that I want to possibly go into neuro I should be doing better than I am.  I think this is the kick in the ass that I've been needing.  A "chip on my shoulder" as Legally Blonde the musical would say (yeah, its stuck in my head now too). I've got to get my academic act together and start doing homework/readings/life on time.  Which means I'd better catch up on just about every class I'm taking right now.  I'd better get to that.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Headaches

I just realized that I've had a headache for the past two days straight.  For no apparent reason.  Until I actually decided to recognize all the crap I've been eating recently.  My Halloween Oreos are nearly gone, I got a half gallon of sherbet at Walmart a few days ago and I've been having dessert at meals on top of all that.  I think it's a bit of a sugar overload.  I didn't know if that was possible, but it definitely is.  I need to start really watching what I eat.  Not just to lose weight.  I need to stay healthy and on top of my game to keep school going well.  I've also been really unfocused and unmotivated lately for school stuff (maybe I'm a little burnt out already, but I hope not, it's only 4th week).  Hopefully I can get myself back and ready to hit the ground running sooner rather than later.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Finding My Arden

Here's a picture from my woods romping at Bjorklunden a week ago.  I've got more, but I'll spread them through as they feel appropriate.

Unclear

I'm having one of those days where I don't know what to do.  It's not that I don't have things to get done, it's just that I don't know what of it is relevant.  I don't know why I'm doing these things.  I think it's one of my big picture days.  I want to know what the big picture looks like before I worry about the details.  Actually, I just want to go shopping and try to buy things.  A bit of retail therapy never hurt anyone, just their bank accounts.  But seriously, I need to buy something to fix the terrible foot smell in my room right now.  It's getting pretty bad.  Which just reminds me of camp.  I just can't get this summer out of my mind, and I kind of wish I could.  Now I can't ignore a greater purpose and just go into straight theatre.  I want to do something more.  I need to help people.  But I don't know how, and I don't want to turn my back on my dreams either.  Plus now it's weird to be on the acting side of things since I've been working tech.  I feel out of place onstage, even though all I want when I'm sitting in the audience is to be onstage.  I don't know if I have a place in it anymore.  I'm living in theatre limbo.  And life limbo.  I just stay in the middle because I can't pick one because I'm too afraid to lose the other.