Unclear

I'm having one of those days where I don't know what to do.  It's not that I don't have things to get done, it's just that I don't know what of it is relevant.  I don't know why I'm doing these things.  I think it's one of my big picture days.  I want to know what the big picture looks like before I worry about the details.  Actually, I just want to go shopping and try to buy things.  A bit of retail therapy never hurt anyone, just their bank accounts.  But seriously, I need to buy something to fix the terrible foot smell in my room right now.  It's getting pretty bad.  Which just reminds me of camp.  I just can't get this summer out of my mind, and I kind of wish I could.  Now I can't ignore a greater purpose and just go into straight theatre.  I want to do something more.  I need to help people.  But I don't know how, and I don't want to turn my back on my dreams either.  Plus now it's weird to be on the acting side of things since I've been working tech.  I feel out of place onstage, even though all I want when I'm sitting in the audience is to be onstage.  I don't know if I have a place in it anymore.  I'm living in theatre limbo.  And life limbo.  I just stay in the middle because I can't pick one because I'm too afraid to lose the other.