So, I just sent out formal sounding requests for professors to write letters of reference for my Fulbright applicaiton, so it's real. Apparently, there's about 7 things I should have done first, like talking to the host country and writing my essays, but I needed a reason to start it because I was feeling wishy-washy aout it but now it's real and I have to do all of these things. Also my mother is visiting and was all
"shouldn't you be working on your Fulbright application?" and I was like
"what if it sucks and they laugh in my face" and she was basically
"suck it up and get shit done, Abigail. You're better than this just finish it and send it it's good for you and builds character, also shouldn't you take the GRE and know what you're doing with your future by now your sister knows what's happening and she's three years younger than you and has a long term boyfriend and almost got a scholarship for being really motivated and you haven't done anything yet this summer you're a dissapointment get your shit together."
So, she didn't actually say half of it, actually any of it (there was something about the GRE and I should really start the application. That was about it). But the little voice in my head that's been mixing messages of "there's so much time" and "you're being lazy as fuck" has officially switched to "AWW SHIT YOU BETTER GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER OR YOUR GOING TO REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. START DRINKING COFFEE AND WRITING THINGS DOWN YOU SUCK AT LIFE RIGHT NOW."
So that's where I'm at on this lovely Monday evening. Hopefully I actually get my stuff together ASAP or I might have a mental breakdown with the voices in my head. (for the record, these are metaphorical voices. I'm pretty sane, just a bit frazzled).
No comments:
Post a Comment